I say yes!
It’s a new year and I am excited about what we can do together. We endured some hard lessons. Others, more so than humanly possible. But we are here, standing at the dawn of our making.
of a different beginning. One we craft that holds ourselves to a higher standard…an ALOHA standard. I LOVE the anticipation of what is yet to be. And aren’t you, just a little bit relieved for the tried and true practices you kept in your tool box? The ones you thought were too simple to be useful. You know:
- Make a list, check it twice.
- Focus on what matters not what makes the most noise.
- How you feel when the noise is gone.
- When the clutter is gone, a clear purpose and vision returns.
- Taking control transforms ordinary to extraordinary.
- Get your REAL you to show up.
leads to an article by Alice Boyes Ph.D. for Psychology Today, where she says:
- Removing the clutter creates a sense of confidence and self-efficacy (seeing yourself as competent).
- Decluttering is energizing.
- Cleaning and organizing reduces anxiety.
- Decluttering allows the mind to expand and (sometimes) involves physical activity.
- The activity of decluttering reduces relationship and family tension.
- When you declutter, you often find lost treasures.
Put on your glasses and your thinking cap. Ask yourself, “does this align with my life vision?” If:
- It’s an unnecessary duplicate, unusable, broken, I don’t like it anymore.
- You forgot it existed.
- The house should be our ihome.
- People (those who live here and guests) don't feel comfortable or at ease within the space.
- Our focus is on stuff rather than each other.
- The stuff deters you from being happy, healthy or safe.
THEN…it means YOU will make a difference.
everyday offered an opportunity to say, “What if the Kealoha lessons don’t lay dormant.” Sometimes transformation happens without hoopla or inauguration. It drapes on you as natural as growing an inch or smiling at the silver shimmers in your hair. This is how the declutter or the LOKAHI transformation took hold of me. Lokahi is our way of working as one in and out of self, and in and out of home.
During our hanabada days (kid time), if by chance we behaved like clueless and unaware youth during the week. Sundays always reminded us of our good fortune. And when I say good fortune, I mean good ‘ole fashion intentional family time.
Kuleana and lokahi,
worked masterfully together, like Gabby Pahinui and his slack key guitar. Through Kuleana we believe we have value and a duty to share our value. When we take responsibility for our gift, our contribution, understanding why the family works, we move closer to being ourselves. It may sound odd but we actually experience freedom, independence and evolution. I know, how could owning up to our responsibility provide independence or evolution let alone freedom. Try it! You’ll be amazed how doing what you say and say what you do in yourself, trickles to your home and your family.
Understanding we were important to the Kealoha family unit was the beginning of how we (each collectively) make a difference. As we grasped our potential and place. It wasn’t difficult to understand, how those same practices provided a framework for an orderly (and very loving) home. Each of us contributed to the whole. Just as each item in the house has a home, it contributed to the overall spirit of the space.
An early a-ha moment
washed over me when I understood the value of my contribution. It came years after the book learning, and what seemed like forever after the experience. The sun emerges through clouds. Draping over me like the perfect crisp white shirt, lokahi smiles and the dance begins.
My Dad use to say, “Did you sleep good?” He wasn’t asking to hear us talk. Our agitation, dark circles, tired expression, gave us away. He wanted us to reflect. He knew when we resolved the imbalance, we would sleep; and when we were lokahi, we were moving towards pono.
Sometimes my stories paint a picture-perfect family. For the record, we had our share of conflict. Our share of anger and sadness and a whole lot of, “Why is it my fault?” or “You don’t get it.” Not to mention, “I hate you.”
What we didn’t know
is the groundwork my parents built. Their upbringing infused with generations of cultural intelligence opened the door to navigate through conflict. Some days we glided through turmoil like a synchronous paddled canoe and others, felt like a squall ravaged our spirits. At the end of the day we arrived in a place of Lokahi. And through the navigation we found our kuleana.
What does this mean? When we were out of sorts, it is the collaboration between us which moved us to our rightful place. Sometimes a scolding is in order. On rare occasions, the consequence required more discipline. Other times, a come to Jesus discussion did the trick and then a cat-n-dog fight with my siblings painted a clear picture.
Transforming a cluttered space, takes the whole household to work together. And when we work together, magic is on the horizon. In a LOKAHI home where each member values their kuleana, a house evolves to a home. People become a family.
- Returns things that are out of place.
- Knows cleaning up is part of being in the space.
- Remembers washing, drying and putting dishes away is NOT one-time deal. It happens as often as we make dirty dishes.
- Realizes folding and returning clothes to the drawer or closet is not Mom’s responsibility. It’s all of ours.
- Admitting Dad is not the only one who cleans the yard.
- Believes each person is the reason we all have a happy home.
If for an instant,
you connected the dots from family practice to an orderly home, you are ahead of the curve. Now, if you’ve connected the tinier dots from declutter to FREEDOM and peace of mind, I’ve done my job.
You are officially in the presence of your own, homegrown INSPIRATION. I’m not a psychologist nor do I have any formal training. However, I do have a lifetime and several generations of practice. Practice of:
- Less is more.
- Everything has a place in the home.
- When something is out of place, then someone in the home is not keeping up their end of the bargain.
- Each family member brings value, contribution and duty to the family.
- A sense of responsibility as a member of the Kealoha Ohana.
- We weren’t always lokahi. And when we weren’t, it was the whole family who worked together to return to lokahi.
- One for all and all for one…REALLY!
The Kealoha practices are not whimsical standards, instead they are traditions passed down from generations. They are the tools I gladly share.
For some they transform a cluttered family to a household coming together and creating a well-defined standard. A home who is committed and has a duty to each other. A family who is better because of their kuleana and lokahi.
Who knew declutter could do so much more.